I'm tired, I'm going to do TAWG and I'm going to sleep (; I trust that God would strengthen me and pull me through one last (torturous) day in school tomorrow. And also, I trust that God has a great plan for me. No matter what, I know that His grace would cover me, and remind me of who I am in God.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
*756 - one thing
One thing One thing I desire One thing I seek To gaze upon Your beauty Your majesty
God of my salvation Lifter of my head Teach me how to live oh Lord In Your righteousness
In the day of trouble You cover me In the secret place of refuge Lord I will sing
So I pray to You So I pray to You
Lord Your Name is higher than the heavens Lord Your Name is higher than all created things Higher than hope Higher than dreams The Name of the Lord
I will seek Your face Call upon Your name Jesus All I want is You Jesus
All I ever want to do is just worship God. I have no idea what JC I want to go to or what course to do in poly. But, God has placed inside my heart that it is for Him, but I still don't know what it is. But you know what? I don't really want to bother too much about it because I have nothing to worry about. But what I would do is to seek His face continually and guard my heart from the temptations of this world. I just want God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit with me as I journey through this (: yay. and that shall happen.
Sorry for that one liner last night. But it was a good day where I was just blown away by what God was doing in my life. (: Wrote, refined and recorded my songs for about...4hours long :O Yes, my hands hurt really badly last night. Not good, not good.
Today had school and drama after. We had our full-dress rehearsal with no scripts today and I almost died with my partner, Annabella. :/ Oh well, just keep practicing. Hahaha.
During CMECS today, we finished watching the St Anthony movie and did our reflections. And I just realised that I was a lot like St Anthony. Okay, i'm not Catholic or anything, but the trials that we faced are similar. Like, he gave up his love, I gave up my love, he got tempted, I got tempted. But there was something that I actually learnt from him. He never ever falls into his temptations and often repents and goes back to God whenever he felt tired, angry or boastful. He continually guarded his heart with Godly friends around him and always remembered why he served God. He kept his calling close to his heart and though it may seem impossible, he believed that God would show him a sign and trusted that God would do the work.
I think what I've learnt from that, was to keep my calling close to my heart, embrace it and continually trust God and know that God would make the way. I have often doubted that I was even called to worship lead, to be an SP, but God showed me visions and dreams, which I sometimes think that it's just me dreaming (sometimes I still feel like I'm dreaming). But I know, deep in my heart, that it is what God wants to do in Ignyte and in me, and all I have to do is prepare myself, learn all I can now and trust that God is sovereign. (:
Hoping hard for His will to be done in my life. Believing that there is more to come
---
Your presence in me Jesus light the way By the power of Your word I am restored I am redeemed By Your Spirit I am free
I will fall at Your feet I will fall at Your feet And I will worship You here
Monday, July 13, 2009
*754 - pleased
I'm satisifed with my Monday(:
Sunday, July 12, 2009
*753 - God. Is. Awesome.
In every season, my God is still my God.
Today, I was just thanking God and praising God till my throat hurts now. During worship, I just felt such a liberty and freshness in the way I worshipped. It wasn't like the way I used to worship, but this time I was just singing and believing everything that I sang and it was just magical (though God isn't a magical God, it was just the feeling). There and then, He just engulfed me in His presence, and like what Jill McCloghry said, His presence just flattened me and it was like I knew Him, and like how I knew Him before.
Cell planning was really good and productive. Recording was fun too. HAHAH. I was laughing at myself because my voice at one part of time was like, MANLY AND WEIRD. Then I tried the cool effects, and heard how I would sound if I were a boy, a chipmunk, a diva, with a lot of reverb and HAHAHA. SO COOL.
Oh drats. I haven't touched a single piece of work this whole weekend. At least there's no physics and SS tomorrow! So I only have to do bio! (: happy happy. ALRIGHT, when Iffa blogs about yesterday and the really funny quotes, I would blog about it later(; for now, I have to go shower and do work. SO BYEBYE(:
Saturday, July 11, 2009
*752 - the message
Hosea 6:1-3 (The Message)
1-3 "Come on, let's go back to God. He hurt us, but he'll heal us. He hit us hard, but he'll put us right again.
In a couple of days we'll feel better. By the third day he'll have made us brand-new, Alive and on our feet, fit to face him.
We're ready to study God, eager for God-knowledge. As sure as dawn breaks, so sure is his daily arrival. He comes as rain comes, as spring rain refreshing the ground."
Friday, July 10, 2009
*751 - desert song
"I actually remember sitting in the hospital right after everything happened and knowing that I needed to sing, that I needed to still do what I know I'm supposed to be doing, and I felt like that was just a victory for us. Right now anyway it's just chasing to worship all the time, that's what it's like for me. Cos I don't always feel like it, I don't feel like... sometimes I don't feel like singing to God. But... I know that my circumstance, in this season, doesn't change. That God is still God. It doesn't change what God's called me to be here, what he's called me to do. And He's still on the throne in heaven and He still rules and He's still bigger than everything I'm facing.
I was singing, I believed everything I was singing and I still dont really know why but part of me was still so broken that... it wasn't like this huge rush of how it always felt when I worshipped, like the presence of God just flattened me. It wasn't like that. And I remember singing and not feeling like how I always felt before and just going "I know that you're here God" but I just... maybe it's just cos of my brokenness right now, the cut was so deep and so fresh that I didn't feel like I felt it before but I knew that I just needed to keep singing, and that it was going to be okay. And I just kept singing and then when we got to album night, it was the first night that I think I felt the presence of God back. Like I knew Him, and like I'd known Him before.
Even when you're singing things that you know are true, but you might not necessarily fully understand it? I think just being able to look at God and say things that are true of him, and declare the word of God and declare the promises of God, which is that... when I'm in the fire and I'm being refined, and when I'm in a battle and the triumph doesn't hear yet but it's coming, I think that you look at God and you say "I know that this is who You are" and he does get bigger in your life. And it takes over the things in you that feel so shattered. And it makes Him the focus. And He begins to put those things back together."
~
it's been speaking to me for quite some time, since...last year June? But I just, again, didn't know how to put it into words and I didn't quite understand what God was speaking to me at that time. Oh, the interview above was taken from delise's blog (:
would elaborate or blog later. I've got to get ready for Janet's birthday celebration later on at night!(: And I'll be going to the airport to await the grand arrival of my brother :p alright, bye!
Thursday, July 09, 2009
*750 - Surely.
"I know we sing this song like 10 million times in service ( I exaggerate of course), but there's a reason it speaks to much to Sister Raine, jelly and me. It means something to our hearts. Hosea 6.
...watching this video after the countless of times I've watched it, it just feels different. cause my perspective has changed. I'm stubborn and obstinate in that way, that I want to whine and groan and moan and mope, but so often circumstances and situations don't change, but perspectives do. In every season, God is still God. And nothing, not my own angst or worries or pains can change that. The ups and the downs, GOD IS STILL GOD. ..."
I think the reason why I actually copied and pasted that part of the post was because it was exactly what had happened in me, but I just couldn't put it to words. Thanks Benn(: Well, yes. I agree with her. Nothing can change the way we perceive things, but the ways of God can. It was because the word of God convicted our hearts that made us change the way we see things. It changed the way we lived our lives because we knew that God had made a difference in how we looked at our lives.
Then, when other storms, battles, deserts, droughts come our way, we would be able to withstand it with God on our side, because even though we can't physically see God, we know that He's there because He had met us before. And when we feel so dry and empty in our hearts, we know that God would come because He had promised that, He had done that before so He will do it again.
I pray for you: "God, come to this heart here. Fill this one with your love and grace today. Let this one know that Your grace and love is still amazing. Convict this heart bowed before You today and let Your glory fall as they pray for You to come. In Jesus name I pray, Amen."
Letting go - one of the many things we often forget. We tend to cling on to what we believe and are most comfortable in, because it was already routine into our senses. But if we continue like that, we would not go through pain and hardships, and we all know that pain makes us grow.
You see, we hold onto our problems like how we hold on tightly to helium balloons so that they wouldn't fly away, because it's precious to us. We will have one less hand to do our daily work, one less hand to worship God. But when we release our problems, when we let go of the balloons, we would have one more hand to do work, one more hand to praise God. The balloons that we let go of would fly up high into the sky, and they would eventually end up so high that it would pop. See, when we let go of our problems, we trust that it would fly up high above our heads, to where God is, and trust that God would pop the balloon. And when you pop that balloon, that balloon deflates and it's thrown away and forgotten.
No matter how big of a problem you have, it may be the biggest balloon in the sky. When you just let go of it, God will catch it and pop that balloon, throw it away and forget it. Because God is a good of second chance. He does not keep a record of how many balloons He popped for you, but He forgets them. He throws it away into the dustbin, and He takes those hands lifted high, without any balloons clenched up in their fists, and pulls them high up and hugs you and tells you: "Young child, I love you." Have you ever seen a young child crying because they lost their balloon as it flew away? But their parents would take his hands and walk him away so that he would not continue carrying about his balloon?
When you let go of that balloon that was held so precious to you, you would cry and moan about it, because it feels like a part of you had been taken away from you. But God would send down comfort, God would personally go down to you and take your hand and hold onto it. He would change that hand which held onto the balloon, to a hand that is holding onto God's hand. And you would walk happily with God because you know that God was there all along, just waiting for you to simply - let go.
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
*748 - walk with You.
"I will walk with You, Lord" - King of All Days, Hillsong United.
When I logged into my MSN, I looked at my personal message and wondered why I actually put it as my personal message. It was not long after God just gave me a reminder that goes like: "When you walk through the valley, the mountain, the hill, the raging sea, the fire, the storm, the flood, the desert, the battle and the wrong way, remember that you are always walking with Me, and no one else but Me."
I like how God speaks to me. It's always, at the right time and place. It's like, He'll never fail to remind me of a song lyric when I'm down and just speak speak and speak. I think what God was trying to tell me today was that: Even at times where we are hit with the most horrible problems in the world. It may seem that it's just you and that big block of troubles and you have no idea how to get through that big block of troubles. It may seem that the earth is just frozen and things just keep falling on top of your load and pull you down to your knees because you can't take the weight of it. It may seem that no eye can see whatever you are going through and it is just you and the four walls of your room. But the actual fact is that God is everywhere, and God sees everything and anything that you are thinking, feeling, doing and holding. He is walking along that long and windy road with you, holding everything that you're carrying and taking the step before you do, showing you the way. It may seem that you have gone the wrong path of life, but in actual fact is that it was meant for you to go down that road because it's for you to build up your faith and perseverance in God. It tests how much we love God, because if we don't love God enough, we'll let go easily to the promises that God had placed within us.
Emmanuel/God with us/God's with you not matter how many times we forget it, God is still with us. Because silence doesn't mean absence.