janella

last words.

2011-03-21T20:35:00.004+08:00

It's been a while since I've last blogged something emotional. So this shall be my first in a long time, but my last one as well. Yeah, I think cyber-ranting isn't the what I believe in anymore. So this is my last post in this dusty and lonely blog.

I've been thinking a lot about seasons within seasons. Something like Inception but in season-form, if you know what I mean. Over the past 2-3 years I've endured many variations of seasons - pretty schizo, I would say. Happy seasons, sad seasons, dry spells, stormy weathers, snow storms, sand storms...yeah. I call those - mini seasons (lack of a better word) Over the same 2-3 years I've made one very major season transition. Secondary to Poly life, emo period to happy period...and yeah that's what I can think of. Haha. I'm still in that transitional period between one major season to another major season. I must say it's pretty overwhelming. Wish me well, poly isn't going to be easy but I don't think I would have the energy to blog. Really really excited to start school, but yet I'm really nervous. Oh well, that's life. New season :)

one last word to wrap this baby up - SMILE.

5

2011-01-14T15:38:00.002+08:00

Really want to thank you 5.

thankful.

2011-01-08T22:16:00.006+08:00

MONDAY is dooms day. I'm a tad bit scared but...REALLY worried. Sigh, but I'm very blessed by all the concern, wishes and prayers that I've gotten from dear friends so far. And for some sad few, rants and complains about how scared I am and what I would do if I don't do well and everything. (I can feel my stomach turning into knots right now. argh.) Nonetheless, I am very thankful I have such a supportive family and friends. :) Hee ~ blessed.

Well, God is a good God. He never does anything to harm us, or to watch us die in pure torture and sadness (though sometimes it might seem so!). God is a very very wise and very very smart God. Places things to divert us back on course or to the course to our destiny. Very smart.

Love my God. Though I fail Him, He does not fail me. Through what I've experienced, I can testify that God is indeed a faithful God who does not forget about us :) I'm so blessed and thankful to have such an awesome God like God. Saying that alone is never ever enough to thank and praise God for what He has done. I guess that's one reason why I love worship. To give Him the praise that He deserves (though that as well is never enough)

Okay sorry. I'm gushing about God. Heh. Haha! ANYWAY. MONDAY. I EAT YOU UP. WHOOO.

On a sidenote, I would really really like to have a rainbow cake for my birthday this year. I have a thing for rainbow cakes, horses, quirky shoes, fairy lights, day beds, floral dresses, floral hairbands and guitars. (hints are way too obvious) HAHA. Ahh well, :)

my christmas

2010-12-27T22:08:00.003+08:00

MERRY NEW YEAR FRIENDS! :)

my Christmas in photos!

lovely time spent with my beloved family and friends. Christmas was...sweeeeet. OKAY WM OUTING TOMORROW. PREPARING JELLIES, HAHA. OKAY BYE.

defined.

2010-12-18T12:55:00.002+08:00

Goosebumps formed as I saw about 400 youths lifting up their hands in worship. Seeing their faces so hungry, so desperate, so in awe of who God is, it made me tear a little bit. Though knowing that it might just be the camp hype, but I really really truly believe that there was something breaking at that moment. I pray, and believe that DEFINYTION has transformed and turned different lives back on course (an example would be mine). God is good! :)

happy days are here again.

2010-12-12T19:56:00.002+08:00

Miss Fefany.

I have fat arms and I look like I'm from Korea and you're a brace-face with big googly eyes. We're meant to be (try to think of a way that could link to us being oh-so compatible. HAHA)

---

Patience is not my virtue.

I certainly do NOT like to wait for things. I don't like waiting for the answers to things (I NEED TO KNOW WHETHER I'M RIGHT OR NOT FAST), I don't like waiting for people (who are late for more than an hour), I don't like waiting for the food to come (I need my food FAST) and I don't like waiting for the bus (which sometimes takes about 20-30 mins to come, especially when I'm RUSHING to somewhere!)

Sigh, I guess this is the time where I learn it the hard way. Boohoo.

---

Today was...nice.

1) Church! VALERINA YEONG FINALLY CAME BACK FROM SYDNEY. And the welcome hug Haruki gave to Abel was just hilarious. Hahaha! :) Glad these two (val and abel) are back. HEE!

2) Lunch with Val, Gid, Ruki, Abel, Chelsea was...heart warming! :) hee.

3) Last minute catch-up session with Iffa (which only took about 10 mins to plan and confirm) was just really really :))) Finally updated her and got updates from her. So happy!

I'm happy, so happy. (though there is just one thing...) BUT YEAH, I'm happy. I can't wait for tomorrow (DEFINYTION) and the rest of the week! So exciting! Heehee!

glasses breaking.

2010-12-12T00:18:00.004+08:00

MISS YOU, HANNAH LEE.

---

There was this episode on HIMYM where the characters told each other their bad habits. Like how Robin says "literally" in literally every sentence, Lily chews as loud as a t-rex, Ted likes to correct people and so on...you get the point. It's when they exposed these bad habits, which made them all very aware of what they say and do. One occasion, they pointed out that Ted's girlfriend talks a lot, which made Ted very disgusted and eventually break up with her just for that reason. Every time that happens, a "glass breaking" sound would sound as the incidentals.

Well, I'm human. I have my "glass breaking" moments as well. Sighhhh...

to do...

2010-12-07T20:05:00.003+08:00

things to do during the rest of the holidays:

1. Finish up HIMYM until season 6!

2. Write a song on the piano

3. Write a song(s)/finish my half-written songs.

4. Christmas presents

5. Sleep

6. Play lan for the first time

7. Sleepover with val!

8. Picnic with Val, Gid, Ruki, Nat and Abel!

9. Lunch/Dinner with Hannah!

10. Watch Singing In The Rain

11. Get my Jansport bag that I've been dying to get!

12. Start cross-stitching again

13. Cook dinner for the family

14. Exercise

15. Pick up piano again

can't think of anything else, actually. So yay :) 15 and counting.

once bitten, twice shy.

2010-12-05T19:59:00.003+08:00

Man, my week was whacked. It was such a weird week, really. It was so weird, and crazy until I just feel like dying or crashing on my bed and sleep until I die. HAHA, okay not literally.

A brief summary of whatever I can remember:

Monday - shopping with nette and nic! :)

Tuesday - mahjong/HIMYM at Damien's place with Val, Gid, Barns, Mo, Teo and Gavin.

Wednesday - recording for the camp song at PL, and dinner with Val.

Thursday - WORK at Orchard Hotel, selling jewellery. (more on that later)

Friday - WORK

Saturday - WORK

Sunday - church, steamboat lunch and mahjong with Benny, Bro Shannon, Damien, Yeow and Terence.

Work, yes. For Nic's Aunt's jewellery company. It was an eye-opener. It was amazing how people could spend money, buying $1000++ worth of jewellery when people are making that same amount in a month. It was SUPER creepy. My boss was rather...schizo too. Shan't say why cause I might be dead if she reads it! HEH. Well, I'm glad that's over. Satisfied when I got my pay, HAHA.

---

After much thinking and reflecting over my life. I realised that I'm kinda afraid to fall in love again. I'm too afraid to speak my mind and say all the things that I've been dying to say. I'm too afraid of taking that risk, because I've seen friendships die because of that risk taken. I've felt the anger and hurt that I would not want to feel again. Basically, I'm just too afraid to be hurt again.

Ah, who am I kidding. I shan't blabber, rant and ramble about my life anymore. SO BYE. HAVE A HAPPY WEEK AHEAD ALL!

so what?

2010-11-24T23:14:00.002+08:00

I can't keep pretending like I am not disgusted by all the nasty things you say about yourself over and over again. I can't keep telling you the same things over and over, if you just don't want to change. I constantly pray and ask God to help you, but I don't know what's going on right now.

So what if they ignore you? So what if you're hyper-sensitive? You don't need people to define who you are. You don't need the number of guys around your arms to define how "accepted" and "loved" you are. You don't need to fall into love and hate love to prove you yourself that you're worth it. It's rubbish.

I'm sick and tired, and I have nothing left to say to you anymore. If you go on like this, I'll not be surprised if one day I see you... okay, I'm not going to even complete that sentence.

I just hope you'll change, seriously. It's for your own good.

---

My feet are sore, I smell like a mixture of deodorant and sweat (other people's and mine) and I think I lost a few pounds after tonight's party. 2 hours+ worth of dancing, and with the people that I love :)

Holidays have never felt so good before. I have nothing to worry about (NO MORE CHOIR/HOLIDAY HOMEWORK AND LESSONS). All I do is wake up late, go out with friends and go back home. HEHE :) So happy. Plus, tomorrow I'm going to the holding school to help Ms Kang pack her stuff, with drama elective :) So exciting! Hahaha, I'm looking forward to every single day of my holidays. I AM HAPPY. Looking forward to this weekend as well :) HAHA.

Okay, I should go and shower and sleep. GOODNIGHT FRIENDS. Stay happy :)

happy company.

2010-11-21T23:00:00.002+08:00

I always look forward to the weekends. I get to do the things I love, be with the people I love and encounter God as a community. Another reason is because of random (impromptu) outings like these. HAHA.

Got Tagged! in the morning, TENet and usual church things. After jams, we were just randomly discussing what to do, then the next thing I know we were in Yeow's car driving to Starbucks for a drink. Chilled in his car at Sixth Avenue in the parking lot, and when Damien went to throw the drinks away and came back, we sped away. HAHAHAHA! SUPER EPIC. But of course, we stopped for him to run after us. HAHAHAHA. Joke of the day.

OKAY. Red camp is tomorrow, and I lost the indemnity form. I'M DEAD, but I shall see what they will do to me tomorrow. Will they let me go or will they kick me out? HMMM. Ah well, okay BYE. HAVE A HAPPY WEEK:)

highlights of the first week of freedom

2010-11-20T00:21:00.001+08:00

PROM NIGHT 2010! :)

Surprised Pei Lin with a ticket to USS for her birthday :) This was her very very peilin-like reaction. Haha, SHE ACTUALLY CRIED :) aww.
Yes yes, went to USS on Thursday with Drama Elective :) It was such an awesome and incredible day, I must say. It was just SUPER FUN. Loved the Mummy ride until we rode it like 8 times? Heehee, still want to ride it again actually. Haha! We left at around 7ish, and we were all super tired after the whole day of running around, screaming and laughing. I LOVE DRAMA ELECTIVE A LOT :)

OKAY a substantial post soon but for now, just bare with photos and all. OKAY BYE.

BACK.

2010-11-17T17:00:00.003+08:00

Hi friends. O LEVELS ARE FINALLY OVER AND I'M BACK. WAHHAHA. Okay, to celebrate the end of O's, we had our prom in the evening. :) Best night, really awesome. I woke up with sore calves and thighs and a hoarse throat. Hardcore. And, I regret not getting Bro Shannon to make the dress for me :( SIGH. So I had on this really really cheap dress, which made me look fat and ugly. BUT OH WELL, I had a ball :)

changed my blogskin cause I couldn't stand the previous one. And I needed a new look, though I don't think anyone is reading this anymore. HAHA.

---

God has been faithful :)

when the 10 and 37 part.

2010-10-16T23:44:00.004+08:00

10.

37.

Will never forget them. :'(

O levels commence this Monday for the 10. Firing off with my drama paper first, ending with my CLB listening. I am really nervous! Ahhhhh. Anyway, will return on the 16th/17th November. Goodbye!

surprised. shocked. speechless!

2010-10-12T21:34:00.002+08:00

surprise #1!
surprise #2!

I love these guys to the core. The ones that have been driving me to do my best and be myself in times of insanity. Love all the laughs we had, times we shared and everything else in between! I want to thank you for being there to share my day with me today. Thank you for sacrificing your study time and family time for me! It's really appreciated! :)

(just came back to post about this, since my computer was still turned on after watching the video #2 made for me. HEHE, OKAY BYE.)

cutting and melting.

2010-09-19T20:49:00.005+08:00

One day, your words that had cut through my heart would cut you back.

For now, I know that God would be my vindicator.

I don't have a single thing to worry about :)

---

3 more papers and I would be done with my 1-month long prelims. I can take a short breather, before O's. (1 more month, friends. :O) Graduation is this Friday - really looking forward to that!

(Attempt for a substantial post now...)

I ran into 3 random people. One, telling me that I should study on the bus on my way to school to be more "disciplined". Two, telling me that the course in poly would be a huge mistake that I'm making and that I am very foolish. Three, telling me (in Chinese. Yes, emphasis on CHINESE) that her grandson was top in his school and is now doing really good in medical school.

I froze, speechless. Thoughts ran wild in my mind, fear crippled me. Makes me sick, stressed and scared. Am I going to flunk my O's? Am I going to get into the course that I want? Is the course I want God's plan for me? No, I refused to entertain these disgusting thoughts evoked by the devil, attempting to scare me, deter me from what I had set my heart on.

Risky, yes... Well, I will never know until I try everything in my power, till I find the one thing that can only be done with God's power....which will be what I do forever :) I secretly can't wait. So exciting!

I think what hurts the most is when you can't say anything without worsening the situation. It sucks when I have no more power to convince people otherwise, makes me feel like sheeeet.

I was about to charge to battle, armors and weapons at hand (a clear conscious and tissue paper) but thank God for great friends that stopped me before I get foolishly defeated again. (You know who you are.)

God vindicates. God intervenes. God reigns. God is revealed.

but first! I need to let go of the situation and let God have some room to show His awesomely mighty powers that have been known to melt mountains like wax, then we will see it for ourselves.

Day after day, that vision of God is revealed. It sure is awesome possums. Gotta love God.

these few words.

2010-09-12T22:33:00.002+08:00

Last words before I disappear again. Heh.

I'm going to post some sentences which only I (and maybe the people who know what I'm going through) would understand. So yeah.

Taking a back seat, I don't want to be a part of this no more; You make me question my faith in you; not enough with just half of my heart for You; when the 6 reunite, it's magic; You completely turned all my impressions of you the other way; be lifted higher;

OKAY I'm done and I think that summed up what I need to say. So bye!

1243.

2010-09-11T00:48:00.003+08:00

1243. So proud of everything today. The team did well, and it's still amazing how it is for God. God would be happy :) I can tell! hehee.

hello september,

2010-09-04T20:30:00.003+08:00

Hello friends. I've been rather dead lately, apologies.

Prelim 2 has been tough, tiring and torturous, but I'm holding on just swell. Nothing but a great group of friends to keep me sane and happy :)

Loving the after paper bubble tea talks, bus rides, impromptu KOI sessions, dinners and studying times at everywhere. Makes me feel loved and know that I'm not alone :) Hee ~ WE CAN DO WELL IN O LEVELS. I'm am so positive of that! :)

Ahh, substantial post soon when my brain isn't fried. GOOD BYE.

ALIVEEEE

2010-08-29T22:59:00.002+08:00

Just a little something to let you know that I'm still very much alive.

Prelims just started. I am so...ahh. Anyway, it's been a happy weekend. :) God has been really good and His ways of using people pretty much just surprises me. I'm so honored to be able to do something so amazing for God and it's really pleasing to see how much it is impacting people around me. :) hope the song doesn't get stuck in your heads for too long. Heh. Alrighty, gotta go. :)

cupcakes

2010-08-13T19:12:00.002+08:00

So yummy, I want to eat them! :)

Thank God for a short week. It's been a really awesome, God-filled week where I'm not dying so fast and He has strengthened me over the week.

Prelims are in 11 days. O levels are in about 2 months time.

God help me!

oopsie.

2010-08-09T22:26:00.000+08:00

not gone.

2010-08-07T03:44:00.005+08:00

Hi friends. It's coming to 4am, and I am still doing my drama journals that are due in about 6 hours time. I am going to be a zombie tomorrow during drama :/ 8am to 7pm.

God, help me.

but thank God for such a wonderful day today. Our last sport's day turned out to be the best one I had :) 4/8 really knows what "All for one, one for all" means. We win and lose together, get scolded together. I love 4/8 :)

Had a really nice lunch with brother Shannon too! Steak and awesome ice cream/tea :) and it was interesting following a fashion designer around Arab Street when he's getting fabrics and stuff. HAHA. I KNOW YOU'RE READING THIS.

kayy, I shall post a happy photo for this happy day :)

wheeeeee, okay. I'm going to carry on with my journals! :) Happy National Day weekend everyone!

I did it!

2010-08-05T21:37:00.001+08:00

THIS IS SO CUTE. HAHAHAHA

rainbow cupcakes.

2010-08-03T19:54:00.000+08:00

My favourite photo now. It's so pretty, I WANT. ):

angusthongsandperfectsnogging.

2010-08-01T20:09:00.002+08:00

ROBBIE :)

---

Had breakfast with Sister Kassey today, and it was a really nice time of fellowship and sharing :) Service was good, lunch was a blast with the OWF gang at La Petite and ice cream from Island Creamery :) top it off, Iffa and Cherie came over to my house and we had a lot of fun goofing around and stuff. (evidence: Facebook) HAHA.

I've been really busy :( 6 day school week is tough man...but it's sorta rewarding because after O's, all of this would pay off. :) Heh. It's August already, and it's all just happening so fast. In about 3 weeks time, would be our second prelims...and in less than 3 months it's the BIG O's!

kay, bye friends. Going to touch up my drama journal! :)

happy songs

2010-07-23T21:15:00.002+08:00

It's so weird having my own song become my favourite happy love song. Hahaha, I've never imagine that day to come, but it did last afternoon. Ahh, it's so awesome. :)

Rushing drama coursework journals now, with Kim. Drama has pretty much taken up my entire life, and I have no other time to study for my other subjects, but I guess I'm managing it some way or another!

School's been really really tiring lately, but it's been a huge achievement for me so far. Being able to study for 10 hours in a day, for 5 days in a week is SUCH A BIG DEAL FOR ME. At least I brought my big, fluffy red IKEA pillow to school to keep me comfortable during a long day in school :) Hee ~

control

2010-07-22T18:47:00.002+08:00

Things have been really hectic lately, but learning to let go and let God take control of everything. It's been wonderful seeing how God pulls me through each long day strong. Happy happy :)

17th

2010-07-18T00:29:00.002+08:00

Happy birthday Esther, Dad and Claire! :) Love you three loads. Be happy :)

TGIF.

2010-07-15T23:07:00.002+08:00

What keeps me going.

---

These are the photos that make me think of one person: Iffa Hashim. HAHAHAHA. I HOPE YOU SEE THIS. Ah yes, AND INTAN SOFIA TOO. :) I love you, my birdie buddies.

Anyway, it's a happy Friday. Going to watch Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging before studying. That'll be the first little perk I'm going to give myself for the start of the weekend, because we all need a little rest in our hectic, busy and crazy life. :) AARON JOHNSON, WHOOHOO :) Have a great weekend ahead, friends! :) A substantial post soon, when I find the time :)

life.

2010-07-13T23:07:00.002+08:00

No doubt about it.

After the shock of today, I think I understand what it means by embracing life and living life to the fullest.

You'll never know when you're going. Will be praying for the two. Sigh.

a way back into love

2010-07-11T21:47:00.001+08:00

I hate you, smelly rat. HAHAHA!

kidding.

cuppa.

2010-07-11T00:01:00.004+08:00

Apparently "friendship" is a cup of tea!
interesting.

nothing for everything

2010-07-08T23:46:00.001+08:00

I'll give you one last week.

If after one week and there's still nothing, I'm giving God everything.

headache.

2010-07-07T21:29:00.005+08:00

Yummy. I would really love to make those, but I'm too lazy to.

---

Have been having headaches since last last Saturday. Dizzy, fainting spells here and there. Saw the doctor twice and was told twice that I'm stressed and exhausted. Missed school, and took very strong painkillers. Well, after all that, I'm fine. Headaches are still persisting, but I'm still living so yay.

Things have been building up, school has been piling and piling on. I think I am really stubborn, probably the reason why I'm having these headaches. Aiyah, oh well. OKAY, I don't feel like blogging anymore. Bye friends!

very much alive.

2010-07-06T01:09:00.002+08:00

I've disappeared for a while, but to let you know that I'm alive and kicking I'm just going to post this up. Would do a proper post when I have the time to! Cheers ~

fairy lights.

2010-06-27T20:03:00.006+08:00

This is like fairy lights. I like.

---

This last week of the holidays have been hectic.
Going to school for drama elective and I think I have fallen sick and I am just dying from exhaustion. I'm having a splitting headache right now. Bleh. First time in a while ever since I last gotten sick. About 6-8 months ago, maybe? Haha, oh wow. I broke my own record.

Claire and her Tae Min photo thing :) Her friends got it for her. Happy confirmation, Claire! :) Alrighty. I am really tired, I am going to rest. E-Learning day tomorrow, going to do some of the work already posted online before tomorrow. I want to be able to sleep as much as I can without having to wake up early to do work before going down for lunch with the drama class. :) Hee, goodnight. Have a great week in school!

BFF

2010-06-23T17:24:00.002+08:00

The beauty of friendship.

catch the word.

2010-06-21T23:49:00.001+08:00

the little bird told me.

more to see

2010-06-20T19:18:00.003+08:00

I wouldn't mind waking up to this in the morning, just waiting for me to devour it. Looks so pretty, yummy and oh-so sweet :) Heee.

---

Had a happy Sunday. Went to church to help out for parents' day, then I had a nice lunch-thingy with Val at Starbucks :) Bumped into smelly melly the flamingo! Had a really nice time with her :) HEHEE. Sorry I left you there! ): Heh! Went to meet Kim at Lavender to get our costumes...but we hate Mel Tan now. GRR. Called Ms Joanne and she told us to try to dig something out from our closets than buying something. Heh! So we ended up walking around Haji Lane and got some stuff...boo. Went to Ion after that to collect my jeans, and went home :) My feet hurt. Grrr. hahahaha. My sister is back from Hong Kong and she bought some nice stuff for me :) HEHE. I'm so happy.

This coming week would be a happy one. I can feel it.
A substantial post soon. I'll post one when something good starts brewing! :) Adios friends.

beautiful things

2010-06-19T22:47:00.003+08:00

I want this to be my room! It's so pretty and happy and cute! :)

---

Had a happy day today. Went for lunch with my mother and my sister, then went to Ion with my mother to get some stuff from Uni Qlo and bought enough Body Shop shower gel to last my family the entire year. I'm not kidding. Hahaha! Had a really nice chat with my mother. It really opened, funny, cute and heart-warming! :) Hahaha, I love my mom! :))

Need to really start studying soon, but my whole week next week is packed. Doing what? Preparing for my next drama piece. Grrrrr... :/

not for play

2010-06-18T23:55:00.002+08:00

He is much to mighty to be played around with. He is not a toy.

I think sometimes we underestimate the power of God, sometimes we go to God just because we're going through something bad and sometimes we just go with the flow.

We behave like children and their toys. We think of God as our 'toy'. One minute we're happy playing with it, trying out the different features of it...then when the toy's battery runs out, we cry about it, put it aside and search for another toy.
God is not a toy, He does not run out of battery because He's God!

He does not deserve it. He is much more powerful than you perceive Him to be. He created the heavens and the earth, and it's time for you to acknowledge that He did all that. He wants our attention, He wants to talk to us. He wants to love us, but first, you have to allow Him to.

---

Love is waiting.

I cringe whenever I see a couple walk past me. To be honest, I really want somebody to hold and love and to hold me back and love me. So I've search for that magical feeling. Once, twice, three times...and four. Yeah, I've been in love.

I realised after this whole fourth ordeal, it's not really that important. In fact, it's just a distraction. After this week, I realised what it meant to "guard my heart" and to "embrace my call". Those were the words that were spoken to me by Pastor Gary and leaders when I just started worship leading and still trying to sink in the call of God.

I've let other distractions of the world hinder and take up space in my heart. I didn't let God take full control of my heart, I didn't let Him love me. I thought I had given my heart to Him, but I realised that I've completely got myself fooled. I had other desires, other than God's. I put my desires before God's. I didn't trust Him at all.

However, God spoke to me recently. Love is waiting till we're ready. We shouldn't be in a rush to get into a relationship. We are all still young, there's other things more important than silly crushes and heartaches. First things first is growth. The time wasted on crying alone in your bedroom because your crush rejected you could be spent reading the Word Of God and seeking His purposes for you.

I don't know how correct my thinking is, or whether I am in the right state of mind. HAHA. It's not often you hear me say that BGR is a total waste of time. Though a little feelings for the opposite sex is definitely relevant, it shouldn't overtake your feelings for God. God is and should and forever will be your/my first love. He is the first and the last. HAHA :)

---

whoohoo, substantial post! :) good night friends. LIFE conference was awesome. Night revival meetings were SUPER AWESOME. GOD IS TOTALLY AWESOME. :)

glee.

2010-06-14T22:57:00.002+08:00

yum yum, looks too yummy! And it looks really happy too :)
I like.

---

happy photo, happy day, happy family, happy friends, happy new blogskin!
Yes yes, I have a new blogskin. It's a total contrast to the previous one. The previous one was dull and boring, BUT THIS IS HAPPY AND COLOURFUL :) Lyrics are from Brandon Heath's "Wait and See" :) very nice song.

I've been happy. I kinda feel like the same "Jelly" as last time. I think it's the freshness of God in me. I've reignited that passion in my heart, and my strength has been recharged for this brand new season. I made my stand clear, and I know who I am in God! :) We will find our breakthrough. Just takes a lot of faith, and hope in God!
HE WILL PULL US THROUGH IT.

more substantial post next time, I have nothing else to say!

happy days.

2010-06-13T18:17:00.003+08:00

John Mayer is not only an awesome singer-songwriter/guitar wizard, he's also an awesome photographer.

---

Had a wicked time yesterday with the entire Ang clan at Chinese Swimming Club. Had a really big (and scrumptious) dinner before bowling! Played like, 3 rounds. All our fingers were red and sore! ): Aiyah, but it was fun. It's nice to finally meet the Ang clan other than the CNY gatherings...etc. I was happy, and sweet :)

I think I satisfied my GSS cravings already. Happy happy. And I had a happy lunch with Val, Veronica and MEIYAN! :) We made so much noise in the restaurant, til the waitress asked us to SHUSH. Heh heh. But it was good company :) happy company :) hahaha. Not to mention, blur company. HAHAHA. OKAY shut up janella.

Anyway, IGNYTE's moving forward. It's time to pick up the pace in my spiritual life. I think that I've been too skeptical and too lazy to pick up my walk with God again. After the SP day camp, I realised that I've got a lot to catch up, man. I've reignited the fire, and it would never burn out. :) It starts with one heart. Since we're one heart, it starts with US. :) come on board the ship to a different place. :) It wouldn't be easy, but think CHILD-LIKE. It's all you need to know.

no more bee-zee-ness.

2010-06-10T23:16:00.003+08:00

WHOOHOO! :) DRAMA ELECTIVE, WE FINALLY FINISHED OUR DEVISED PIECES :) hehehe. A tad bit lagged, but still SUCH AN AWESOME FEELING. Had a celebratory lunch with MCDONALDS and shared some...interesting stories. Then we started auditioning for our last piece (duos and monos) yesterday. :) Ms Joanne brought her 3 year old daughter to lesson, AND SHE WAS THE CUTEST ANGEL :) hehe. Heh. Played hide and seek with her :) SHE'S SO CUTE.

Then, when we were leaving the school. There was this whole BEE INFESTATION in the school. Bees were literally buzzing all around us, falling on the floor and dying. We battled our way out to the school gate, and when we safely got out...we looked up, and we saw thousands of bees buzzing around in the sky above us. The stinging sound of the buzz just scared us all. We all got a little bit paranoid. Hahaha. Luckily, no one was hurt :)

Well, that was yesterday. Today, had our last day of holiday lessons. Then, went to Far East Plaza with Claire and Iffa for...KFC. Then, we met the rest of the class at Esplanade Library to hunt for our duos and monos :) we all found IT. Went for dinner at Marina Square with Cherie and Iffa after. Then we walked around, window shopped at Zara and Top Shop. I REALLY WANT TO GET THAT HORSE-Y PULLOVER! ): ): ):

Heh.

Alrighty, SP camp tomorrow. There's actually drama elective tomorrow, but heh heh heh heh! ): I have yet to pack my bag. WHOOPS. Shall do it now, and go to sleep :) goodnight my friends.

not now.

2010-06-04T16:06:00.003+08:00

I was listening to a song one morning and the lyrics goes "If we ever needed you, Lord it's now." and I got a little bit disgusted by the word 'now'. Though I know the heart of the song isn't what I'm going to be babbling about, it got me thinking.

Sometimes I see people write/blog/tweet/facebook status update/say this particular line "God, I need you NOW" or something like that. I question their thinking and their view of God. Do they know the true meaning of "waiting upon the Lord"? I find it really saddening when I see people fall out of the comfort of God and walk into the hand of the world when God does not turn up in their time of need. It hurts my heart.

Instantaneous is the word. We, sometimes, perceive Him to be an instant God. "God, GIVE ME A CAB NOW" or "God, I need You to come and meet me now. I am so tired." Stop telling Him to go against His own timing, because He will intervene and come whenever He wants to. You just need to be still, be patient, be positive and be faithful to Him. Instead, tell Him that you will wait for Him and that you trust that His timing is perfect.

(okay, I don't know whether this is correct theology but...) We need God in every second of our lives, not in every difficult circumstance, not every now and then. Start being more grateful for the mighty God we serve. He deserves more than just another demand. The only time you should use the word "now" is when something you're going through something that is beyond your control.

---

I had no time at all this week to actually get on the computer because I reach home at 9pm everyday, staying in school for about 13hours everyday...but today was a nice break. Heh. School has been good, drama has been tiring but awesome. We had an epic-cockroach-killing-spring-cleaning session yesterday before our lesson and boy was it fun. 10+ cockroaches died last afternoon, and we finally got rid of that cockroach-infested box that has been sitting there at the corner. HEHE ;)

Going for prayer meeting on my rather free day later. I finally have a little bit of my life back :) okay, I NEED TO GO AND CHANGE. Bye friends.

moving images.

2010-05-31T22:19:00.005+08:00

Oh yeeah :) We just love multi-shots.

School will gladly become my second home by the end of these 2 weeks. I'm going to be in school for about 12 hour straight...goodness. It'll be fun, I guess :) Heh heh.

I had enough rest during the long weekend, so I think I'm going to start studying TOMORROW. whoo! Chiong till O's. I'm ready. (I THINK.)

Anyway, I'll post when I can and when I feel like it. :) BYE

fear.

2010-05-29T18:20:00.003+08:00

What are you so afraid of, friends?
We all have different fears upon our hearts. Muster up the courage, conquer those fears. Don't let fear define who you are in Christ.

not worth the time.

2010-05-27T18:14:00.002+08:00

Don't even think of turning back now. It's not worth your time.

new.

2010-05-25T22:00:00.002+08:00

Mmhmm. That's my best friend, right there. Iffa Hashim, you look so cute here. HAHAHAHAHA. Like a cartoon. Heh. :) LOVE YAAAAA :)

-

URA excursion is cancelled, because of the 4/7 people who wrote the proposal to our principal. Got called out, along with 4/7's chairman, to see her. GOODNESS, I WAS SUPER SCARED THAT WE'D BE SCOLDED but no. Instead, we were offered kit kat and were told to just talk to her and that there isn't a need to write a long letter. HAHAHAHA. I feel so good right now.

Graduation photos are tomorrow. I feel so old. I feel that time is passing by real fast. I feel the sense that "this is THE year" Sigh, this year is passing by way too fast. I can't believe that it's almost June! AHH WELL. We'll make it through this year, whether we like it or not :)

Starting a fresh with God, with people, with myself. I've wasted time, I can't bare to waste anymore. You only cherish things when they are gone, and that's not good. Start cherishing what you have, for example, time. YOU DON'T HAVE THAT MUCH TIME, btw. Haha. :) so why not make full use of it. Use it to do something more productive than sitting around whining and crying about everything but you. Hmm? Start with the basics. Start with you.

intense

2010-05-22T17:56:00.003+08:00

Today was intense. June holidays are going to be intense as well. Tutorials in the morning to about 1.45pm, then drama elective from 2.30pm to 7.30/8.30pm. Repeats for every day for the first 2 weeks.

This week has been slack. Checking papers, getting disappointed but picking myself up again. It's all good. I realised how greedy people can be. Hmm.

Went ice skating with my drama elective class on Monday. Bumped into Lester Chua there. So funny. :) Taught Iffa how to skate, and had tons of fun with them :) I love the drama girls a lot! WE ARE COOL LIKE THAT.

Went swimming/gyming with the clique yesterday. Intan, Iffa and I went swimming and we got sunburnt! (Well, to us we are. To them, we aren't) I had tons of fun, and I'm definitely going to pick up swimming again.

:) okay, my brain is kinda fried. I SHALL GO. BYE FRIENDS. post when I can.

the uncomfortable feeling.

2010-05-15T14:17:00.004+08:00

Hi friends, I'm back. HAHA. Prelims has come to an end yesterday, and I'm just super estatic. It's just so weird not worrying about what to study next or what homework is due or whether I've done enough revision. I've been deprived. Anyho, this girl, Nicole, came over to my house yesterday for a "after-prelim" sleepover :)

I'm upset. I'm disappointed that I am just so small. I want to do more for this generation, but this time and age everything just hinders me from doing so. I just don't like what I see on the Facebook pages, the Tweets, the scene in church and everything. My heart just breaks, I start to feel what God feels. Countless times of how I felt so disgusted. God, what can I do now? I've been praying, I've been trying to change the atmosphere of burden to an atmosphere of victory. Oh hosanna...

chasing after something.

2010-05-10T22:11:00.008+08:00

English - P1/P2
CLB - P1/P2/Listening
~~SS/Geography~~
~~Physics/Chemistry - P1/P2/P3~~
~~E Math - P1/P2~~
~~Amath - P1/P2~~
~~Biology - P1/P2~~
~~Drama - Prac/Theory~~

my new favourite song :) Mia Carruthers and The Retros - Chasing After Something. It's been stuck to my head these few days. HEH HEH :)i figured that a little song would help lighten up this place cause I'm not going to post regularly. HEH. AH WELL. enjoy :)

I never knew.

2010-05-07T21:45:00.002+08:00

I never knew that I would feel so tired from studying. I've been taking as excessive amount of naps lately, and I will still be able to sleep at night. Hmm...weird.

away with the past!

2010-05-05T17:14:00.002+08:00

I stripped my blog of it's archives, just because I think everyone needs to move on from the past. I don't think the past needs another revisit, because it's just full of things that aren't really that happy.

On a side note, I have formspring! http://formspring.me/janellaang go there and ask me questions. Haha. I think my life needs a little entertainment, so answering questions would be fun!

Also, I had no papers today. And, I felt like a total pig last night cause I slept A LOT. I'm not going to even describe it, because it's so embarrassing. Let's just say, IT WAS GOOD.
E Math paper 1 tomorrow! Bombarding myself with papers and papers of past year prelim papers to do, but I get distracted by Youtube, Twitter and Facebook. Heh..

P.S: I LIKE PINEAPPLES! :)

show me your teeth.

2010-05-02T23:08:00.004+08:00

It's hard to believe it...but...

even though the stress of the O levels creep in closer and the heat of prelims are on me right now, even though I have a great amount of guilt, shame, regret, pain and hurt in my heart, even though I see no light in what I do in church/school, even though I feel so alone in everything that I'm doing, even though I can't feel You right now...

(I'll say it with a smile) You are still God.

tears well up, my heart melts, I break down and crumble to my knees. Everything that seems grey, fades to black and Your light breaks through the silence of the night. I hear You calling out to me, oh how You missed me...mmm..

something better.

2010-04-30T19:13:00.006+08:00

"...Just, let it be, time will heal. Even if it takes days, weeks or even months. God will never take something away from you without giving something better. I mean sure, we'll be let down but you gotta remember that there's so much more to life than this. :) " - Iffa Hashim

---

Prelim 1 started just yesterday. CLB was good, I never felt so good about Chinese in my life before. English today was alright-ish I guess. But God was there to help me. I could be so calm in the midst of the tension-filled hall. Wow :)

Intan pigeon came over to my house after the paper. I didn't really do much work (none actually) cause I was really tired and beaten up. Heh.

English - P1/P2
CLB - P1/P2/Listening
SS/Geography
Physics/Chemistry - P1/P2/P3
E Math - ~~P1/P2~~
Amath - P1/P2
Biology - P1/P2
Drama

my stupid mouth.

2010-04-28T18:58:00.003+08:00

I think I should stop counting the number of blog posts from now on.

I'm going on a JM fast from today, all the way to the end of prelims. Just so I can focus, and I realised that I've been depending on it too much lately.

I'm not going to look back in the things that I've done wrong (or the past, in general). I've hurt some people. I feel incredibly horrible and angry, but what can I do? You don't even want to talk to me. I guess time would tell how this would turn out. I hope God intervenes.

Animal farm was yesterday. Went to Iffa's house with Intan before heading down to school. :) Iffa and I wore similar dresses, BUT IT AIN'T THE SAME. We look exactly like sisters, but...HEY. haha. Show was good, company was good. :) Love my drama elective class. I always feel strangely at home when I'm with them.

Prelim 1 is starting tomorrow, kicking it off with my CLB paper. It seems a little surreal, but I guess this year is meant to be that way. Haha. Had an early dismissal today because of the good results of the recent competitions that had taken place. Spent my day with Nicole, Intan and Iffa at Intan's house, KFC and Bedok Library. I got home really early...something that is a first for the year. Took a nap, and doing my chinese revision/practice right now.

my stupid mouth got me in trouble. I said too much again. ~

*936 - 2.4km run.

2010-04-23T20:09:00.003+08:00

I love you 3 girls. Iffa, Intan and Nicole. You make my week in school much more meaningful than what it should be. We laugh, cry and do silly things with each other. LOVE YOU GIRLS SO MUCHHHH! :) (the bottom photo, YOU ALL HAD LONG HAIR and I was the only one with short hair! HAHA. Now it's the opposite, huh! :))

---

Had my 2.4km run today and it was alright I guess. Went to Intan's house first! :) I finally know what they're laughing about in school. Hahaha, extremely funny :) The run was gooood, but I could've done better. Arghh. INTAN, I HOPE YOU'RE FEELING BETTER NOWWW! :)

Took a bus back with Nicole, and yeah. :) HAHAHA heheeee.

I have a lot of things on my mind right now, but I don't have the heart to type it out. It's just too much to type out. And personal as well. Ah well. :) have a great weekend.

*935 - detours

2010-04-17T21:52:00.003+08:00

I was going home yesterday and it started pouring really badly. I forgot to bring an umbrella with me, so I decided to drop off at the Maris Stella bus stop and take the circle line to Bishan. Instead of using a shortcut home, I walked under a series of shelters just to avoid getting wet. As I was walking, God spoke and released a new revelation into my heart.

Sometimes in life, we take detours. These alternate routes are usually much longer and much more tiring to walk in. When I was walking the alternate route back home, my legs were tired from the walking...but I reached home without getting a single drop of rain on my back. These alternate routes may seem endless, tiring and purposeless, but these routes protect us and are often a safer route than the other.

You may be going through a time in your life where you find meaningless and tiring, but take it as a challenge, my friends. The road you take is just a detour. God knows that you're not ready, and is just waiting for the right time for you to walk the straight path. He's testing you, protecting you and moulding you. Training you up to walk a little more so that when the shorter route is presented to you, you can walk with ease...and probably even faster! It's not that God's being unfair or anything, He's being God.

---

My week was good. Tiring, but still good. I went swimming on Thursday, and felt really really good. Had drama today from 7am to 4pm. Hardcore rehearsals man. Our devised piece seems to be coming along really well! :) Heh.
Going for Nicole's/Mary's/Valerie's confirmation tomorrow after church. (: exciting muchhh!

AH WELL. I have nothing really much to say. Just that MY TAGBOARD IS REALLY DEAD.
okay, goodnight baby bumblebees! (I FEEL SO BIMBO)

*934 - happppy.

2010-04-11T19:25:00.002+08:00

credits to Dee! :)
loveee love John Mayer. His songs makes me happy. Haha.

*933 - zzz

2010-04-07T23:36:00.002+08:00

Defeated. I am scared, I am terrified. Prelims are coming in 3 weeks time, and I have not even started revision on my secondary 3 topics! Drama elective today also just made me so 'argh' because we're soooo behind. However, I'm going to push myself. I'm going to do it, with God's strength. I can only do it with Him.

Hesitation. I want to, but I don't dare to. I just don't know what to say to you, and every time I try, I'll chicken out. I don't know if you're reading this, but I just want you to know that I want to be just friends, and I just hate this awkwardness we're facing right now. I hate the feeling of losing such a close friend of mine. ): bahh.

Tired, stressed. I'm going to do it with God. I'm going to make it through this year. I can't, but God can.

*932 - disappointments.

2010-04-04T22:13:00.003+08:00

When things don't go the way you planned it to, you're surely going to feel horrible. Ahh, I can't do anything with my own power to make things better. I can only do so much.

*931 - FIRST

2010-04-01T17:43:00.002+08:00

FIRST - Sec 4 Drama Elective showcase 2010!
We really rocked it last night, girls! :) LOVE YOU ALL TO BITS.

---

haven't been using the computer these days cause I've been rather caught up with school and all! Apologies. Anyway, my week was a really great one :) The drama showcase yesterday was a success! :) I MADE 2 PEOPLE CRYYYYY and many teared. Hoho:) And thank you to my sisters, Intan, Nicole and pastor Andy for supporting me!:) It meant a lot to me! :) HEHE. And thanks to the others who came to support us! :) THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! :)

Easter is coming up, and red brick road is tomorrow! Today was April Fool's day, and our class really fooled our teachers this year again :) During geography, we waited for the 10 minute bell to sound, and we all hid under our tables to make it seem as though it was a fire drill or something. Mdm Harn bought it, and almost wanted to clarify with the teacher next door. Then we sat back up, and acted as if Mdm Harn was being all weird and everything. HAHAA. And then, during biology, we did the same thing to Mr Ng. He didn't buy it, so he played along with us. He hid under the teacher's bench, and WE ALL SAT BACK UP, and he peeped out from under the bench and we were all like "MR NG, WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO!?"... hahahaha! :) And during homeroom, we swapped classes with 3/8! :) Luckly, it was a new teacher in the school, so he was pretty confused. HAHAHA. HE TOTALLY BOUGHT IT, I KNOW IT. Then we went back up to class, and Mdm Bey was all happy and all :) HAHAHAHA. And during geography tutorials, Mdm Harn said that our class was the most creative :) awesomeeee. And when we stood up to greet her, we said the pledge instead. HAHAHAHA :)
I love my class. We are so cooooool :) heheeeee

CAN'T WAIT FOR THE WEEKEND!

---

This is my season of putting faith and trust in God. I guess when people drift away from your life, your dependence on people decreases and your dependence on God increases drastically. I've been holding to the hurt of being lonely, but I'm proud to tell you that I've let it go.
Hahha, I guess this proves that you are never really alone :) There's always someone there, and that person is Jesus :)

*930 - farewell.

2010-03-25T19:39:00.004+08:00

First of all, HAPPY (belated) BIRTHDAY ARIEL MAE SAMMY ♥ :) I LOVE YOU MY SOUP SPOON BUDDY. :) we really need to meet up for dinner one day okay? HEHE :) soon soon. And I hope you remember most of the photos up there! :) HEHE love you loads, girl. :) I MISS YOUUUUUU. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ (sixteen hearts for you!)

second of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY IFFA HASHIM SIRAJ ♥. :) you're officially 16 years old! :) remember the photos up there? ^ :) HEHEHEHE. I love you my duckie, fa-ster, brader, McSpicy, ippa :) HEHEHE. Fat hamsters all the way :) LOVE YOU LOADSSSSSSSSS! ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ (sixteen hearts for you!)

SAC choir 2010.

One of the fondest memories that I would have of SAC, would be my CCA - Choir. Endure hardships together, facing tough scoldings and trials. Man, are we one well-knitted family. :) jia you girls, Poland tour 2010 would be a good one. DON'T LET US DOWN! :)

---

Apologies for the lack of updates my friends. I've been really busy with school work and everything. Rarhhhh. Term 2 has sped up a lot more. We're just a couple of chapters to the end of syllabus for physics and e math! It's really nerve-wrecking cause prelim 1 is starting on the 29th April!

Also, we got our year books today. DRAMA ELECTIVE MELBOURNE TOUR 2009 IS IN IT. Heehee ~ happy happy. And, today marks the day where the sec 4s in choir officially hands over to the sec 3s. IT'S SO SURREAL. I can't believe that I'm not an SAC chorister anymore! The thought of not going for choir on Mondays and Thursdays is just so hard to take in. Wow wow wow. This year has been so surreal. HAHAHA. And I can't believe my juniors actually CRIED ): awwwww. So cute, and so...heart-warming. I'M SO TOUCHED. heheee :)

And and, yesterday the drama elective girls went to Lasalle (well...half the class) for a musical, Sweet Charity. IT'S REALLY AWESOME and CUTE :) ahhhh. :) HAHAHHAA.

SP empowerment tomorrow! :) Hehee. I can actually go now without something clashing! AWESOME. :):) HEH.

okay. I'll do a nicer update when I have more time. For now, BYE FRIENDS :)

*929 - beauty.

2010-03-21T21:30:00.003+08:00

ARGH. I think it's good that we're tapping on pressure of teens for our devised piece. I can finally let my heart out on this. :) awesome.
and shucks. I just remembered that I have a lot of things to do for drama! I need to write a monologue, do my drama journal and design the invitation for my drama showcase coming up soon. It may sound quite little to do, but IT'S ACTUALLY A LOT. PFFT. God, help me.

---

TERM 2. new start, please. I DON'T WANNA DIE LIKE HOW I DID IN TERM 1. ): and I am aiming to pass all my tests, if not a couple of failures here and there. BUT YEAH. the year is zooming past super fast, and I must catch up with it! Now that choir's out of my mind, I can finally go home with the peace knowing that Mr Toh will never ever scold me for random things anymore! BUT I WILL STILL BE SUPER SCARED FOR THE CHOIR ): Europe tour is coming up for them and our standard is going to drop like SIAO. ): all the best my beloved choir! :)

---

gaze at the beauty of the Lord. There, you'll see the fullness of His grace and everything shall not matter anymore.

Give me strength, God. I cannot do this alone.

*928 - march holidays.

2010-03-20T08:49:00.002+08:00

My March holiday...
Mon: Choir exchange programme @ CJC; dinner at Tamp Mall with OBS people.
Tues: School; Choir; steamboat @ Bro Shannon's place with The Cell.
Wed: School; Night service at Be One camp.
Thurs: Drama; Night workshop at Be One camp.
Fri: Drama; Ariel's surprise party at Marble Slab and her house for dinner.

Well, it's Saturday now. I'm hiding under my sheets because it's so cold but I like it. HEEHEE. Looking back, my week started out pretty depressing, but as the days go by it eventually got super awesome :) Hehe. But aiyah, I still have so much work to finish! ): I guess I will suck out my time while waiting for service to start later, doing homework with Val! :) Sounds like an awesome plan. Hahaha. ALRIGHTY. I shall go change and get ready for service jam :) pictures another time! Ta!

---

(Iffa's watch starts to beep.)
Jan: I didn't know your watch made sounds.
Iffa: Same!

*927 - so we will run

2010-03-14T21:44:00.002+08:00

Weekend was awesome, despite waking up late on Sunday, heh!

Saturday, I had my drama O level assessment #1 in the morning. Filmed my monologue twice before rushing down to church for service jams/combine jams/service. Service was just completely unexpected (in a good way). I haven't been at the Saturday service for quite a long time, so when worship just soared, it just blew me away :)

Sunday, I woke up at 6.30am and went back to sleep and woke up late for service jams. Heh heh. Rushed down, service jams, cell and service. Service was great as well :) God came, and God was just awesomeeee :) Went for lunch with Brenda, Ern Chuen, Gabriel and Sister Alicia after that and went home. It was raining really heavily and whilst waiting for my bus to come, a couple of cars drove past and splashed water at me ): I was completely drenched when I got home ):

Watched TV, did my geography homework and dinner. HEH. Yeeees, that was my day. hahaha

---

Holidays are packed up with lotsa stuff.
I've got choir, tutorials, drama and SP camp (night service only, though). Stepping down from choir on Tuesday :/ And getting the choir t-shirt on Friday! Seoul garden with OBS peeps tomorrow after choir, and steamboat with the cell on Tuesday after choir.
I HAVE NO LIFE ): okay, maybe a little. HAHA

*926 - what's holding you together?

2010-03-12T21:04:00.004+08:00

This week has been a quick one. I didn't even realise that today was Friday, and it's the last day of term 1! Time flies, indeed.

Went to Bras Basah today with Dayna to settle the choir t-shirts and everything. Went stationery shopping and headed down to Haji Lane to get her wig for filming tomorrow. Had a nice ice cream and tea at a really cosy and cute place called Pluck :) Awesome fun! hehehe.

Drama elective tomorrow. I'll be doing filming for my assessment. ARGH, the first one got overwritten (which was the better one), so I have to film again. After filming, I'll be rushing down to church for service jams! Hehehehe. I can't wait to finally be able to serve, after SO LONG! :) I'm pumped up, and ready. WHOOHOO :)

God's been really wonderful. :) Heheeehee. I love Him. Though the things around me seem to be turning against me, I shall just let it go, let God and trust Him :) mighty to save. huurahh!

*925 - mid-week perk

2010-03-10T22:46:00.003+08:00

I know all of us are tired and feeling down, but here's a little something to get you guys smiling. MY PIMPLES ARE SMILING. It's just one of those rare occasions to get two pimples right at the bottom of each nostril, above the lips :) HAHAHAHHAHA.

alrighty. CLB common test and A Math test tomorrow! I SHALL GO TO SLEEP. night :)

*924 - victory.

2010-03-06T02:21:00.002+08:00

VICTORY! :) survived Friday swimmingly well, though it started out pretty dramatically. Hahahaha. We had HHP and I ran, and I was having period cramps but I thought it was alright, so yes I ran. Then when we were waiting for the other classes to come, my cramps got super bad until I was pretty much pinned to the floor, paralyzed. When all the other classes ran back to school, I was left sorta stranded at the park connector outside our school, roughly 400m+ walk back to school? Luckily, Mdm Bey and Mdm Suzanna were there to help me and supported me as I walked giddily back to until...well until Nicole Ng came with a freaking wheelchair. HAHAHA. It was quite, in a way, "exaggerated" and I felt kinda like a handicapped when I was on the wheelchair. A pretty exhilarating experience, but not the reason I thought I would be on a wheelchair for. HAHA. So I laid in the sick bay for about an hour, sleeping, before I went back to class. It was quite funny cause the class didn't really notice that I was gone ): but oh well.

Bio was rather funny. We got back our tests and I passed by 1 mark, and I was 1 mark away to getting the highest mark. HAHAHA. And everyone was trying their luck at getting that one mark to pass, but they failed miserably because Ms Voon was too...HAHA. And when we stood up to greet her, IFFA did something pretty "Iffa-like" which just made me laugh at her...pain. HHAHAHA.

After recess, we got back our E Math test papers and I guess I did pretty well-ish? I think it's a once in a lifetime thing, so I'll embrace it for just this once. HAHAHA. And after getting back our papers, all we did was just practices which made me zone out for a while. Heh, partly due to the cramps too. Hahahaha. And I realised that our E Math lessons are pretty slack nowadays. Like, we would be given 1 period to be taught a new chapter or topic or whatnot, then the next period to do our homework or something and once we're done we could do whatever other things we wanted to. Hahahah.

We got back our English argumentative essay back too (after like, 1 month?!) HAHAHA. I was pretty shocked at my results...and yeah. Heh. :) Praise God for giving that inspiration, so yay :) Hehehe. We're getting back our comprehension test on Monday, and I'm really scared. HAHAH.

After school, we went for some career fair thing at Suntec and it was a total waste of time (no offence). But nothing really interested me, because it's all just SO FAR AHEAD OF TIME. I can't really picture myself going to Uni or anything yet, and all they had there were Unis and companies. Rarhh. Well, after that Intan, Iffa, Nicole and I went to KFC for our lunch where a lot of nonsense just happened (knowing us.) It was like old times that we missed and we just laughed a lot, and those horrible girls made me laugh until my stomach hurt which made my stomach cramps even more painful! ): tsk. HAHAHA. Would quote when I remember to, or when I feel like it. HAHAH :)

Went home, showered and laid on my bed for a short nap before I started to do my homework because when I got home, I was already dead. I woke up, but I went back to sleep and woke up at around 11pm because my dad came into my room to ask me whether I wanted to join my family for supper and a drink. I declined that offer and woke up to do my drama journal and stuff. I'm still up, and it's 2.38am.

Tomorrow, I have my very first drama O level assessment! I'll be filming my very first piece, which is my monologue. I am really scared, petrified and just so eager to get it done with (so I wouldn't be depressed every Wednesday and Saturday. I noticed that when I get into character, I'll not say much or I'll be emo. Heh heh.) I'm sick though. My nose is stuffed up like the Christmas turkey, and my throat is really killing me. I guess that's also probably why I feel so draggy this whole day, and dizzy when I was pinned to the ground in the morning. Heh. Also, we'll be going to Lasalle for Twelfth Night. :) heee ~

Well, I'm more or less done with my drama journal, and I just need to pack all my things for tomorrow and I'm all set! I'm looking forward to the weekend, even though the downer is that I have a ton of homework to finish up. Sighh, well nonetheless! :)

---

Congratulations to my dear sister, Jolena, who did really really well for her A levels! :) PROUD OF YOU, jie! YOU NEVER FAIL TO MAKE ME FEEL PROUD. HAHAHA :) :) and I guess it was a good birthday present too! (2 Mar) . HEHAHAH.

*923 - Oh how He loves us.

2010-03-02T18:14:00.003+08:00

Drama Elective class 2009 - 2010.
You girls are like my second family :) ♥

---

I have no life. I've been spending all my time in school and school is literally becoming my second home. Blahhhh.

I have about 3-5 more practices in choir before we step down. I'm quite relieved and sad at the same time...but oh well. I can have time to study, hurrah! My March holidays are packed with more school. I wouldn't really call it a holiday, because it's seriously not. Sighhh! Bracing it. Prelim 1 is coming in about 8-9 weeks time. I'm utterly disgusted by how little I'm studying now ): arghh.

I was reminded that the circumstances and the seasons we face don't change...but it's our perspective of it that changes.

and I had a good, nice chat with my mother on Sunday. She accompanied me down to get my lunch and she just randomly asked me "How was church?" I began to tell her, slowly unfolding a part of my heart where it was hurt...and she was the only one who actually managed to mend it, well apart from God of course. Hahaha. Then I told her about school and everything else...and she just understood me, advised me and loved me like no one had ever did. It actually made me want to tear, because I don't normally see her show love to me before...so whenever we talk about deep things, it'll make me tear a little. Then we went back home, and we continued to talk while hanging up clothes and sitting at the bench at the outside corridor for more privacy and wind. After that, she closed it up by praying for me and it just moved me :) Heehee

I guess the most faithful love, below God, would be your parents and your family. They're the ones that know you best...and love you the most, and have known you the longest. :) heheee. I love my family. WE ROCK. YEAH!

*922 - to kill a steel magnolias.

2010-02-27T21:39:00.003+08:00

HEHEHEHE. IFFA, YOU WERE IN BIIISSHHHANNN! :)

---

Friday:
School was the same old same old. After school, felt weird. No tutorials, no CCA, no drama elective, no nothing. BUT, Iffa came over to my place :) NOW THAT'S DIFFERENT. And she died because she had to walk a bunch, TONED LEGS :) hehehe. Changed, and went to Orchard to do some shopping, well I did. HEH. Thanks Iffa! For helping me pick out stuff and embracing your pain like a man. HAHAH. Met Cherie at City Hall and made our way to Esplanade to look for our set text's full text. After that, made our way to Bugis. Then met the rest at the National Library for To Kill a Mockingbird. Bus-ed home and reached home at around 11.30pm. Tired much.

Saturday:
Went for drama elective later cause Ms Kang showed me some mercy and allowed me to come in later so yay :) Rehearsed, wasn't really in the role because I just lost the emotions ): rarrrrr.
Celebrated Annabella's birthday and had a ball of a time :) Heeheee.
My parents picked me up, and we went to church. I was sitting outside with Gideon and Val and just talked, read my full text and tried to catch some shut eye..but failed to. Went home after service, and had a really nice and simple dinner. My parents went to some meat warehouse sale and bought back some Angus steak home! Hehe, so we had that for dinner and a nice chat :) yyayyyy. Heheee.

---

I hope that I wouldn't be too into character because now that the emotions are fading away, I have to get myself prepared by listening to sad songs, reading sad stories and think of sad experiences. BUT I AM FEELING HAPPY so it's a good sign. Hahaha :) I'M GOING TO EAT YOU UP, STEEL MAGNOLIAS. Blahh.

P.S: I have no life! ):

*921 - draw.

2010-02-25T22:08:00.003+08:00

He's mighty to save.
He's able.
He's faithful.
He's so so patient.

I think that's what God has been trying to reveal to me over this season of my life. And I secretly miss serving God...but I know that in this time I can draw closer to God. And once I'm back on my feet, I'll emerge stronger and convicted. (I hope it will be soon!)

Draw me close to You
Never let me go
I lay it all down again
To hear you say that I'm Your friend

You are my desire
No one else will do
Cause no one else can take Your place
To feel the warmth of Your embrace
Help me find a way
Bring me back to You

You're all I want
You're all I ever needed
You're all I want
Help me know you are near.

I was just listening to this when I was walking to church last Sunday. And it made me tear. I was just reminded of the love that God has for me. He desires for all of us to draw back to Him, because He just can't stand to see His children walk away from Him. We ask so many questions and we cannot stop complaining..

But the question is...who walked?

*920 - trade it in.

2010-02-23T19:59:00.003+08:00

Iffa, aka my brader :)
I hope you're feeling better! Heheee. I hope those monster cramps aren't killing you. :) rest well honneh bunneh. LOVE YA.

---

Everything seems to be going up and down. Heh, oh well. I believe that God is in control of it. Letting it be, letting it be.

---

I was :/ in the morning. Sent Iffa to the sick bay, and had only $2 worth of popcorn chicken for recess (a new record for me. I've never eaten so little for recess in my whole life). Skipped lunch to discuss for our PE project. Had 2hr 10mins of Physics. I COULD DIE. Heh! :/

Came home, ate my VERY late lunch (5-6pm ish?) Heh, and I'm doing my drama monologue subtext thing now. Sigh. Ms Kang says that I'll be ready to film by this week or something! D: I am really sick to my stomach knowing that she wants to film the REAL THING soon. AHHH, kill me. I don't know how to cry on impulse. HAHAHAHA

---

At the foot of the cross
Where grace and suffering meet
You have shown me Your love
Through the judgment You received
And You've won my heart
And You've won my heart
Now I can

Trade these ashes in for beauty
And wear forgiveness like a crown
Coming to kiss the feet of mercy
I lay every burden down
At the foot of the cross

*919 - (untitled)

2010-02-21T17:01:00.004+08:00

hah, I'm so foolish.

*918 - things that make me happy

2010-02-18T22:11:00.002+08:00

I like to do buy things that I've never bought in a long time and I like to buy things that I really need because they make me happy :)

Yes, today...I went to Bras Basah with Nicole and Jeanette after school to buy myself a new guitar tuner and 2 sets of strings. Heheee. I was so excited that I immediately went to re-string my guitar and tune it when I got home. Hahaha! And yes, Nicole went to Art Friend to buy her art canvas and paint and everything :) Hehehe. Very fun, indeed.

3 days of school went past really fast and I'm just happy that today is Friday :) And it was a great way to end my week, I must say. Hahah :) I felt soooo accomplished. HAHA. Yes yes, what can I say? I'm easily amused and happy. HEHE.

Rarrr, there's a ton of homework to do over this weekend but I'm so tired :( rarrrrrrr. And all I want to do right now is to just eat, shower, rest and sleep. I don't even want to think about all the other problems which are just spinning all around me now. Lalala, ahh well :) I'm still happy about buying my tuner and everything. Heehee~ hahaha

OH yes, tomorrow would be an intense day for me. Drama elective lessons are from 9am to 5pm... wow woww. SIGH. ALRIGHTY. I shall go off :) goodbye friends. Have an awesome weekend.

*917 - these hands

2010-02-17T22:33:00.002+08:00

These hands have been used for various things.
And I, for one, have been using it too much and I haven't got the time to empty my hands from the things of this world.

Right now, I come..I come. I place all the things I hold close to myself at the foot of the cross and I come in surrender. I raise up my hands just to reach out to You so that You could take my hand.
I need Your hand, Your mighty hand in mine. I need Your strength, Your comfort and Your love.

it's all that I'm longing for right now.

♥

*916 - I know that God is able

2010-02-16T20:09:00.003+08:00

My day today was great. Woke up feeling awesome, and watched an awesome movie with my little cousins from Texas and my sister :) We watched Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The lightning thief. IT WAS SUCH AN AWESOME MOVIE, but the little ones said that it wasn't good because they didn't put it the good parts of the book! ): aiyohh, I shall read the book one day. HEHE

---

I had a good chat last night with a certain someone, whose identity shall be kept a secret. :) Thanks for sharing, listening and everything last night/this morning. I just hope that you'll feel better soon, alright?

I've got a load that I've been carrying all this while. Pulling, dragging and eventually dumping it in front of me and saying to the Lord, "I can't do this anymore." and I walked away. But then God stopped me in my tracks and told me "Let me help you". He takes that load into His hands and helps me take out some of the weight and gives me back the bag and tells me "I am able, Janella."

tears welled, and my heart sank. I've not felt a love like this in a long while...
my favourite song for now...I Know by MercyMe. :) go check it out.

---

I changed my blogskin because I was One: bored with the previous one and Two: wanted a new look for my blog. I think I need to change the basecodes someday and do up a whole new design and all, but I'm just too lazy to do it all now. :/

That line has been speaking to me lately, and I just wanted it to be my daily reminder whenever I come to view my blog :) so yea..tada. Hope you like the emptiness? hahaha

School starts once again tomorrow, and I don't really want school to start again. Sigh, I think only friend knows why so yeah. Heh. And I have yet to memorise my monologue and finish writing my Chinese letter writing :/ sigh. well, goodnight friends! Have fun in school

*915 - await.

2010-02-15T12:30:00.003+08:00

My relatives just left our house after a nice steamboat lunch and fellowship. They were pretty much amazed at our house, since they've not visited our house since 2004 (ish), so my room was the main attraction and excitement. Heh. Hahahaa. We had our steamboat lunch and just enjoyed one another's company over good food. Laughed a lot, ate a lot until my stomach was going to blow. Then we played Monopoly Deal :) sly sly slyyy. HAHAH. Took photos (which are now up on my FB!) and off they went. :( Hahaha, I always loved times like these, and I hope they happen more often.

I shall quote from my sister - "Nevertheless, I'm ever thankful that God's kept everyone well and joyous. And of course, thankful for the angpow that is unnaturally large this year because of my late grandfather." :)

grandparents! :) I agree with what my sister said "the happiest and most resilient grandmother I've ever met."

One of the rarest occasions - seeing the whole Lim family together! :)

The Ang family :) (excluding my brother, and jillian!)

Alrighty, I shall go off now! I'm meeting Ariel at Ion for dinner :) bye friends! ♥

*914 - tie-dye is back.

2010-02-14T20:03:00.003+08:00

I LOVE my tie-dyed top :) from Bali, and it's hand-made. IT'S SO PREEETTYY. hahaha. and since it's Chinese New Year and Valentine's day, I shall post this up. HOHO.

---

Visiting was really fun :) Hehee! Cousins from Texas came back and my sister and I played some card games with Jared and Jorena. HAHA. We're bringing them out for a movie on Tuesday, so that'll be super fun :) Hehee.

Ate quite a fair bit today and I really need to lose the weight. Sighh, IFFA, we shall run everyday after school :) But only when your knee gets better, yes? hahaha.

*913 - LOVE

2010-02-14T00:34:00.003+08:00

FIRST OF ALL
HAPPY BIRTHDAY HANNAH LEE :) (13 feb)
You're like the BIG BIG da jie in my life who I can count on, and it's just awesome to see how well you're doing now :) I'm sorry I can't be there for you these days cause of stuff in my life, but I want you to know that you're not alone in anything and that I'm still here kay? Sorry ): I really miss you (and the girls) a lottttt! AND I HOPE YOU SPENT YOUR DAY WELL :)

---

Secondly! Happy CNY/Valentine's day everyone :)

Had a great time packing my room today. HAHA, found loads of REALLY old stuff in my room. I found my old ballet shoes, and it took me quite a while to throw them away :/ I couldn't part with my beloved ballet shoes! I DID SO MUCH WITH THEM, but now..it's gone in the trash. Sigh. And I had other useless junk, hahahaha. Wow...and I found stuff from primary school and all. HAHAHAH. So amusing! Went for lunch at East Coast, and then ice cream at Eastwood :) went back home, did my homework and went for reunion dinner at Plaza Singapura :) HAHAH. It was real fun :) heheee. Went to buy some flowers and stuff after that and HOME SWEEEET HOME. I'm so tired, I shall go sleep :) NIGHT.

*912 - Long weekend ahead.

2010-02-12T22:41:00.002+08:00

I'm tired. I don't really feel like blogging about my week because it seems as though it's the same every week (though on Tuesday we went to Body Worlds!). Well my Friday was a rather nice way to end my week. Met Val, Gid, Mark, Gabriel after school and we wanted to watch Valentine's Day, but all the shows were sold out, so we decided not to watch. We wanted to play lan, but all the places were packed. So we ended up drinking Starbucks over Ben & Jerry's. :) went to meet my cell for dinner before heading down to PL for Chinese New Year service.

I think my Valentine's day would be rather depressing, but also happy cause of CNY and all. Heh! Alrighty, I'm zoning out. CANNOT TANK. I shall go sleep. Night world.

*911 - SAVE ME

2010-02-08T21:45:00.004+08:00

hahaha I find my title so funny but relevant.

I've been running by myself, depending on my own strength and burning myself out. My eyes are dying, my body is weak and my soul is near to death. The circumstances around me are pretty much life-threatening and I don't know how to handle all of them at once. But taking one step at a time, settling it all one by one. It gets easier, sooner or later.

I'm letting God mend my heart that has been pressed, crushed, ripped apart and tossed around. I'm going to let it all go - the hurt, the regret, the anger, the past, the confusion and the bitterness. It's going to take a while, with lots of other heartaches to come with it. But I know that God is there, somewhere, doing it all for a greater purpose.

For He is the ultimate heart surgeon on the planet :) hehe <3

*910 - not letting go.

2010-02-07T21:21:00.003+08:00

I think I've put my status as "Away" for far too long already. I need God. I made my mistake of pushing Him aside, and letting the monsters eat me up one by one. But I realised that today, I need Him. I need to put aside all the other worries, other wants, other distractions and just focus on Him, His love and His grace.

sigh. sigh. sighhhh. I think I'm starting to cry. HAHA!

---

Sundayyyy :)
Cell was fun today:) and apparently I have colourful hair now. WHAHAHA. Service was just great. Cried a bunch during worship cause God just moved so evidently. :) ain't enough. Hahaha. Jams was real fun! HEH. And sister Gwen made me cry after jams (again) AHH. Hahaha! ): heh. Went to J8 to trim my hair and had dinner with my sister. Heheheee :)

*909 - Saturday.

2010-02-06T22:00:00.005+08:00

I love 4/8! :) hehehe. We so cooooool!

---

My Saturday was fun :)
Had drama from 8am - 12pm today. I had the privilege of having my dad send me to school so I could sleep in a little bit more. :) we were working on our devised pieces (which I'm super excited about) and now I'm bombarded with a lot of dates that are going to be taken up by drama rehearsals. Oh, the decisions I have to make! ):
After drama, went to Cherie's house to shower and change and headed down to Plaza Sing to meet Aaron, Jared, Lester and Jared's friend (Joshua, if I can remember correctly). We ate at Aston's at The Cathy. We waited for a place for about 30-45mins (:/) and then we finally settled down to eat at around 4pm+. Then after that, went to Ben & Jerry's for some ice cream :) After that, we walked to POMO or some weird (unknown) shopping centre and met some other people (Jeremy and I FORGOT HER NAME). They wanted to play pool, but were underage so eh. HAHA. Stood around and discussed about next Fridays' activities :P HAHAHA. Then we left :) hohoooo.

---

HAAHA And it's Sunday already, so this means IT'S JARED KWAN WEI WEN'S 16th BIRTHDAY! Hahahaha. Blessed burpday you horrible creature! :) and those 2 unglam photos of you is payback for all the insults you've thrown at me. YOU WON'T READ THIS, but oh well :) GOD BLESS YA!

*908 - durian party.

2010-02-05T23:09:00.002+08:00

HAHAHA. this video is SUPER fail. We wanted to take a video, but I think I accidentally pressed stop so HAHAHHAHA. You can barely see our faces! HAHAHAHAH

---

had a free day today. Bro Andre gave me tuition and after that went for durian party! (: hahaha. Alright, drama elective tomorrow. I SHALL SLEEP :)

*907 - camp CORRI.

2010-02-03T21:57:00.005+08:00

IFFA, you VIOLENT lady (man). YOU'RE WAITING TO SLAP ME RIGHT. Tsk, slap me how many times already ah? HAHA

---

BACK! from camp CORRI! :) Stayed over Gillian and Nicole's place for the past 2 days :)
We didn't really do much outdoor stuff for this camp so yeah. First day, we had dining etiquette at Breek's and then we had to do make-up and all those stuff. I fell ill after the whole session so I was dead at like 9pm, but they kept me awake until 2am. OH YES, we played mahjong, and out of the 4 rounds we play, I WON 3 OF THEM. hehehe! HAHAHA. Second day, we went to Bedok Reservoir for Forest Adventure, but I didn't take part cause I still felt really horrible. So I cheered the class on instead and took some rest while waiting for them to complete the rope course (which I really really wanted to do! ):) sigh. Watched White Chicks and didn't really get a good night's sleep ): Lastly, today we were in school the whole day doing eCareers, goal setting and all that stuff. Preeeetttyy dry :/ but oh well! I'm glad it's over. I'm horrible drained out, and I'm sick. BLEH.

tomorrow is SCHOOL and I have my geography test which I haven't studied for. I'm sleeping early tonight cause I'm just so tired! BLLAAAAHHH. AHAHA. :)

---

are you happy now?

*906 - God will make a way.

2010-01-31T19:14:00.004+08:00

Sunday was awesome! :)
Well, I didn't really feel that good during cell cause I was a bit giddy and I felt like I was going to collapse any moment HAHA. But thank God I didn't, and I felt much better after the band prayed for me. Service was just really awesome. I was tearing up (again) when I watched the video (again).
After service had debrief, and like all 4 WM leaders were surrounding me and talking to me. HAHAHA. And persuading me to believe in this and that, and everything. Cried like - and yeah. HAHA. Thank you leaders! :) Went for lunch after that, came home, watched TV and then slept on the couch for a good 3 hours. My sister's friends are sitting outside at my living room right now watching movies. HAHA. I'm going to sleep.
CAMP CORRI tomorrow till Wednesday. Sleeping over Gillian's for the 2 nights, so yep :) I'm quite excited in a way. HEH :) Alrighty, I shall go sleep now. I think I'm falling sick too :/ argh. Ah well, have a great week ahead everyone :)

*905 - deeper

2010-01-30T22:17:00.007+08:00

(from left to right) - Me, Syafiqah, Jeanette, Iffa, Gillian, Intan and Nicole

(from left to right) - Ariel, Esther, Alison, me, Janet and Hannah.

MY GIRLFRIENDS. :) love them ALL to bits and pieces. :)

---

HAHA. I was 45 mins late for service jams today because the bus ride took me about 1hr 30mins. (AND SINCE MY BODYGUARD WAS AT CAMP, I slept in the bus cause I was super tired. HEH.) And apparently I look sec 4 today because I tied french plaits. HMM! :) hahaha. Had a nice dinner with my sister today. We ate at the Hong Kong cafe and tried out the new ice cream shop beside Awfully Chocolate :) I LOVE THE MANGO ICE CREAM. heh! :)

---

Deeper in You
To another level
I will find my breakthrough

*904 - collapse

2010-01-29T23:16:00.003+08:00

I haven't posted this whole week, my apologies. I've been rather caught up with school, homework, tests, CCA and drama lately and I haven't gotten the time to take a breather. well honestly, I don't really know what to type now because I think my brain is hibernating now. I've got drama elective tomorrow, and I'm leading this weekend. I don't know how things would turn out, but I'm just hoping for God's grace to be upon me.

---

Did you forget that I was even alive?
Did you forget everything we ever had?
Did you forget, did you forget about me?

Did you regret ever standing by my side?
Did you forget we were feeling inside?
Now I'm left to forget about us

*903 - INTERVENE.

2010-01-24T22:11:00.003+08:00

I'm stuck.
I don't know what to do, what to say, what to feel, what to think. All these unanswered questions are just floating around my mind, waiting for some divine intervention to occur...but I can't wait that long.

---

sometimes I wonder whether you really meant to hurt me.

*902 - myyyy brader.

2010-01-21T21:28:00.004+08:00

Iffa, you are full nonsense. HAHAH. TONED LEGS! :)

*901 - fight on.

2010-01-20T21:22:00.003+08:00

I know that I'm not in this fight alone.

*900 - panda eyes

2010-01-19T22:11:00.003+08:00

This is what happens when I don't have enough sleep.

---

blah - exactly what I'm feeling now. I'm exhausted but refreshed, crushed but undefeated, stretched but flexible. Hmm. I don't know, but a part of me wants to snap soon. I think it's because I've been getting a mere 6 hours of sleep every day (I know, shouldn't complain) but for 2 consecutive weeks, I think some one could just crack. I think I'm falling sick as well! D: ahh.

but well...

^"29 He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

³⁰ Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

³¹ but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint." - Isaiah 40:29-31

well, I'm hoping, trusting and learning to plan my time wisely. However, the same time, I feel quite D: about the days that are ahead of me. :/ I've got 5 tests coming up, and I've got so little time to study for them. AHHHHH. ):

*899 - rainbow hearts and cheerful smiles

2010-01-17T21:57:00.004+08:00

I want the world to be happy.

---

IFFA, WE MISSED YOU A LOT A LOT A LOT ): sighhhhhhh.

Well, Syafiqah's birthday BBQ was last night, and had great time with them. More photos up on FB, I'd upload them on Shutterfly, but I'm too lazy to.

---

Sunday was great! FUEL, service and LCE. Then Brenda came over to my house to do homework, and went for dinner with her. Bought my iTouch screen protector and came home.
I'm really tired and I'm going to make my complains short and sweet.

I've been waking up early for the past 2 weeks and it's annoying me. I am so so so so tired, and I have so so so so so many things to do that I think I'm driving myself nuts. I'm trying to slow down, but if I did I would probably be miles away from where I am supposed to be. It's a never-ending cycle of doing doing doing, and I think I am wearing myself down too fast.

God, where are you now? ): I feel so alone.

*898 - TGIF!

2010-01-15T15:41:00.004+08:00

This is why I love the colour blue.
(Melbourne '09, PHILLIP ISLAND)

---

Goodness me, it feels good to be home early once in this whole week, and to make things happier, it's a FRIDAY! I'll be going down to PL for dedication night later on, so I think I have some time to breathe, do some work and everything :)

HAPPY (BELATED) BIRTHDAY SYAFIQAH :) hehehhehehe! I LOVE YOU A WHOLE LOT :) HEHEHE. Going to crash your house tomorrow for a barbecue so YAY :)

---

You are seriously getting on my nerves. You're not just going to get rid of me and forget about me that easily, you know?

---

But I had to let go of the pain
Let love rain down on me
Cause you helped me open up my eyes
Show me things I could never see

---

[edit @ 11.05pm]

HAHAHAHHHAHAHAHA. he made me say this cause I made him say it....LESLIE/LESTER POON, is awesome! HAHAHA. THERE YOU GO. annoying! TSK

[/edit]

*897 - sleep deprieved.

2010-01-14T20:32:00.003+08:00

Ahh, I'm tired. I've been staying back in school for the past 4 days and I'm completely drained out and exhausted. I've got a pile of homework just waiting for me to bury myself in, and a lot of other little additional work that I have to do. Sigh, but I know that God is big, mighty and strong to carry me through it :) yayy.

alrighty, I'd better get back to my biology homework. GIVE ME SOME KIDNEY! :)

*896 - corn-nerd.

2010-01-10T19:04:00.003+08:00

I like looking at this picture. It makes me happy :)
Melbourne '09

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Well, went to church today distracted, distressed and drained out. I didn't want to do anything else, but search for the answers and the reasons. By the time it was altar call, I couldn't take it. My heart was tugging the whole time I was listening to P.Da preach. I was quite reluctant to go up to the altar, but I told myself that "I need this". So I did. I walked up, held out my hands and felt my heart just warming up. My eyes swelled up, and tears were just streaming down my face like a broken tap. Next thing I know, P.Da came up to me and held my head. He prayed, he sensed from God and soon, he let my cry on his shoulders. "I know exactly what you're feeling now Janella. I know, I know. And I know it's so so hard for you, but I know.", and just held me in such a lovely, fatherly embrace. And after that, brother Shannon came up to me and prayed for me, and I cried even more. Heh. After service, P.Da pulled me aside to talk about everything (where I cried, even more) and he prayed for me and related to me more. Heh :)

then after talking to him, I was walking back to my seat to get my bag, but I got stopped by Benny, Melissa, Brenda and Chelsea. HAHA. All of them like, gave me a hug and just assured me that everything would be okay. And Benny sat down with me, and I just told her stuff and she told me stuff and it's really comforting for things like that. I like it :) Then I saw Alison, Esther and Janet, and they immediately came over to me, and I started crying then they just like, hugged me and just patted my back and everything :) aww. Hahahahaha.

Had lunch, and then combined centre serving musicians jam! :) It was realy fun. We went to Botanics for some games and everything :) ahhh, so fun. HAHAHA. Then after that some of us went to Macs for high tea and just talked and stuff before taking the bus back with Sis Kym :) hehehe. Had a nice chat with her and everything. It was nice :)

Anyway. School tomorrow, and the release of the O level results are tomorrow as well. ALL THE BEST TO ALL THE SENIORS :) you'll do well! hahaha. And it's kinda scaring me now that I think of it because in one year's time, it'll be my turn. ): Sigh. I'm just hoping and believing that God would bless me. Goodnight world!

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thanks for all the love, concern and care you all had for me. It really means a lot to me to know that I've got friends like you who are supporting me and walking with me. :) i really thank all of you for your hugs, encouragements and prayers. :) Thanks, friends.

*895 - killing myself

2010-01-09T22:21:00.002+08:00

I don't know how I should feel now. Happy? Sad? Annoyed? Frustrated? Tired?
but for some reason, I feel like I'm really disappointed at myself.
and for some reason, there's this small glimmer of hope in my heart. I believe that things would be better and that it'll all fall into place sooner or later. And I think that when I go to church tomorrow, all the leaders would corner me and ask me what's up. Shall prepare tons of tissue and everything :)